I Am.......

Strange.
Witty.
Confused.
Outrageous.
Playful.
Hilarious.
Talkative.
Energetic.
Adventurous.
Crazy.
Narcissistic.
Spastic.
Aggressive.
Needy.
Whiny.
Spontaneous.
Beautiful.
Abnormal.
Rude.
Sarcastic.
Outspoken.
Strong.
Friendly.
Loving.
Brave.
Smart.
Peaceful.
 
Me.

I'm Pretty Sober For An Alcoholic.

I found out yesterday that I'm an Alcoholic.  

Apparently all my neighbors have been saying that I drink every night, party all the time, and spend lots and LOTS of money on booze.  

Its pretty funny because I haven't gotten PLASTERED drunk in a over a month. AND I actually haven't had a drink in about a month yesterday.  I think its mostly because I have issues with my liver and my over all health.  But you know, even when I was still able to actually drink I went out maybe twice a month.  Usually the weekend of my payday.  Because really....who can afford going out every weekend. 

But it's OK.  People talk shit about me my whole life, whats the difference with a few more people?  And for the WOMAN who keeps spreading the rumors?  You should really think about who you are talking to.  Because its all going to come back to me and I always find out what you say.

And be prepared to eat that Karma.  

I can deal with the Karma I receive.  But can you honestly think that you can?

P.S.

Apparently I'm not the one that needs to grow up.  Your the one that is still stuck in High School and is spreading rumors to all your stupid friends.  News Flash. Your 45 years old.  And have some self respect.  Because people don't respect and can defiantly see through you when you run your mouth the way you do. 

Two Wrongs and a Right.

Coaster From HELL!!!

It really feels like my life has been through the WORST roller coaster ride in just one week.  Maybe it's because of the rain is the reason why I feel so depressed. Or maybe it's because I know there is no way in hell I'm going to get through all of this and I just mind as well pull the trigger and get it over with.

But if I did that then you guys wouldn't have this stupid little blog to read when you have nothing better to do with you time.

First Wrong.

Monday night, which if you read my earlier blog my van broke down.  It was a shitty van to begin with but it still got me to and from work.  Well....Its gone for good.  And most of the current problems is because Chris is an idiot who thinks he can fix stuff.

News Flash! No your not.  So shut up.

I mean there was plenty of people that were willing to help with fixing up the van, but nope.  Like every man out there he had to be stubborn and try and fix it up himself.  And look where it got us.  No where with no car.  So I get to walk everywhere and ride the bus everywhere.  Yay me. I get to suffer because of that dumbass.

Second Wrong.

No internet.  Mild, but still. I live on the internet.  I do everything on it! And having to resort to using our phone to get the internet is pathetic! Considering that I feel like I'm running on dial up.  Yeah...and when I see the loading circle thing on my cursor all I can hear is the noise that dial up makes.

Yeah you 90s kids know what I'm talking about. Haunts me in my sleep.

I don't get it.  How can you not pay the damn bill on time?  Internet is a NECESSITY! At least for me it is.  That's because I'm spoiled. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!!!

One Right.

Heard from the grape vine that I could be getting a promotion to be the Manager in Training.  The catch. Move to Arizona.   Its good, but like a morbid person as myself I would find it a very difficult situation.

There are so many reasons why I want to go, but there are as many reasons to stay.

Sometimes I don't know what I really am holding on to when it comes to Utah.

But if I decline the offer (if I even get the offer to begin with) I will have a chance of getting to become a manager in two years tops.  And I get to stay in Utah.  So I guess, either way, whatever path I choose to take (at least with my job) I will be moving up.  Which is nice.

One thing is for sure. I can defiantly handle my professional life better than my personal.  Which is really sad.

Anti-Love Story Part 4-Love Advice??

The other night when Chris and I went to the sushi bar, Ozzie (dude that makes the best sushi ever) asked us how long we have been married.  We told him that its going to be a year next month, but we've been together for 8 years.  Dude was really surprised.  

I think he was mostly surprised of the fact that we are so young and still able to make it work.

The thing is, I honestly do not know how its working.  Maybe it's just a malfunction of my being and that's the reason why I'm in a relationship that is a complete train wreck.  Or it could be the fact that I have never really know happiness for more than two seconds and just don't really know what I'm missing in life.

Anyways, I told him that in a relationships that have lasted basically more than three years, in order for it to work out just know that things will never get any easier.  If anything, it only gets harder.  And there is truth to that.

The longer you are with someone, you notice things about them that you never really noticed before and what do you know! They all bug the LIVING SHIT out of you.  But you have two choices.

One.  Ignore the issue.
Two. Dive in head first.

I recommend number two.  Because one, they can't read your mind.  If they could, well for starters your sex life would be AMAZING.  Just saying.

And if you just ignore the issue then its going to build up inside until finally one day you crack. And EXPLODE like a fracking volcano and then it makes you cheat on that person with an old friend from Jr high that you haven't seen in a while and your too drunk to really give a damn.  And you need a confidence booster because well, you feel fat that day.

OK so maybe the cheating part is just me.

What I'm trying to really say is don't suppress the feelings you have.  Because they are just going to bite you in the ass later and the problem won't be fixed.  You may be seen as a nag, but hey, at least your trying to fix the relationship by addressing problems (preferably sober) when they happen.

Oh, and relationships are hard. And it only gets harder.  I learned that the hard way.  And no matter what happens between me and Chris, I'm always trying to fix what we have.  I may seem like a lost cause, but you know I've invested a long time with him.  I should try.

Who knows, maybe we'll still be together 8 years from now.  Or 8 months from now we could separate. Again.

Stress. Stress. Stress.

Stalking people on Facebook (yes I stalk, otherwise whats the point?) I see everyone complaining about all the stresses in their life.  Some people I can definitely understand why they are so stress, and others?  Well, lets just say they are just privileged little kids that should really just shove it.

But I do get that they're different levels of stress that people can handle.  For myself, I can handle a LOT when it comes to stress.  But I think as of late, I've reached my breaking point.  No amount of sex and calm this tiger down.  Maybe a handful of tranquilizers though....Just kidding. After sex I'm like..."OK I'm done! BED TIME!"

My stupid van for the MILLIONTH time has broken down.  Honestly, there's only so much jimmy rigging one can do until the hose to the radiator blows up and theirs anti-freeze everywhere and your engine looks like a fracking murder scene.

See! Terrible, terrible sight to see.  There is white stuff EVERYWHERE!!!

Oh and don't get me started on my living condition.  Never live with your in-laws.  Scratch that.  You can live with your in-laws, as long as they like you.  I unfortunately married into a family where no matter what you do for everyone and everything, you don't get any respect from anybody.  Even if they are 6 years younger than you.

Oh and if you have kids....You will get yelled at and be judged because you DON'T want to drug your kids for them to go to sleep. Does that make any sense to you?  Probably not.

But enough of my minor stresses....What are you so stressed about?  Give me a good reason to pity you because you are so stressed in life that you just want to quit.  Because I will tell you one that's for damn sure.

No matter what I thrown at me, I will keep going.  Yeah I will freak out, mental institute style, but I won't stop. Ever.

There are too many people, including but not limited to, that really depend on me.  My body may break down and my sanity diminished.  But I will do whatever it takes to make it till tomorrow.

 

Whatever your stress is, whatever is holding you back.  Just remember, there is more to life then just giving in.  And to every cloud, there is a silver lining.  My life isn't perfect, by FAR.  

But it will have to do for now.  Just until I can dig myself out of this grave that I have temporary dug myself in.  

And once I do get out.  It's going to be one hell of a Zombie Apocalypse. 

The Mythical Happy Napper Unicorn Finally Discovered!!

So after a YEAR of looking for this Happy Napper Unicorn, I found it laying on the floor of Wally World today.

So this is my Easter miracle.  Because ever since I saw that dumb commercial for the Happy Nappers I've been in search for the Unicorn.  Because Unicorns are awesome, that's why.

It really was weird finding it though.  On Easter of all days. But I'm not going to question it.  I'm Happy! Hehehe!

OH!! And another thing.  It was only 10 bucks too!  When they first came out it was $20.  So I really lucked out today. ^_^

Only the Banana Goggles can blog about a Unicorn turning in to a pillow. Yup. That's me!

Oh yeah, Like my The Used poster that's been signed by the band!? I know, its fracking awesome!  Love love LOVE their new album. Its been playing in my van ever since I got the CD. I recommend it!

Happy Bunny Rabbits and Eggs Day!!

I have this thing against holidays.  Mostly because I don't really understand the concept of it besides that it is a day corporations take advantage of people and make them spend money on something that so unrelated to the holiday.

But religion aside. I mostly hate holidays because, never fails, if I plan it; it always falls apart.

So this year even though I have to work, I'm gonna get off work. Buy some dumb plastic eggs, fill them up. Take the kids to some random park, and throw them around so the kids can go find them.

But just my little family, everyone can fuck off.  LOL! Stupid in laws.....

Hope you have a happy day filled with candy and ugly pastels!!