Sickly Random Rant.

I hate being sick.  It freaking sucks.  I hate that I'm always thirsty....even if I drink like five bottles of water.  I hate that my head is pounding.  I hate how I keep coughing.

Why.  Why on earth do we have to get sick?  And I was doing so well avoiding this too.

Man I need soup.  Soup sounds amazing right now.

Well, besides me acting like a complete baby....Life has been pretty damn good to me.  I have never felt so less drama...like ever.  Actually, all the drama is happening around me and I feel like I have front row tickets to all the main events!

I do find it all entertaining.  And it actually got to a point where I had to think...

"Holy Shit! Do I fucking sound like that when I rant on about random ass shit?"

Yeah, It was pretty mind blowing.  I figured that yes...yes I do sound like a whiny bitch and the guys are right about a lot of things.

Or in other drama news.  I am the person everyone goes to to let out some serious steam.  It's actually pretty cool that people generally come to me to talk about the problems that they have in their personal life.

However....why people come to me and ask for romance advise I have no idea.  I mean, yeah my current relationship is fucking amazing! I mean beYOND awesome.  But my track record is pretty shitty.

But I guess that kind of makes me the perfect person to talk to?  Since I have gone through a lot and I ACTUALLY learned from my experiences and that is the reason why I am so happy now.

Ha!

Fuck if I know. I'm like high on cold medicine.   Explains why this blog is pretty fucking random.

I need soup.

Love Notes.

Came home from work and saw this on my desk top of my computer. <3

There is no better feeling than finding a love note after a hard day at work.  Even if it's just something as simple as an "I Love You" written on a post-it note next to the night stand or a note pad file left up on your computer.

I wasn't having a terrible day at work, just feeling a little sickly.  But the moment I read that note it just made me feel so much better and now I just cannot stop smiling.  This is what the note said. Copy and Paste.... grammatical errors and all (another reason why I couldn't stop laughing/smiling).

"Baby,

Thank you for everything you do. All i can say is.. im so lucky to call you mine. I hope the rest of your day is relaxing, and you can chill out to get ready for the next week. If there is anything in my life that gives me drive and determination to never quit, its you. Don't ever change, because your perfect.

I love you,
-Me

-by the way make sure you put a load in the washer, ill put it in the dryer and fold it when i get home."

^-^

I swear.  There is no more perfect person than this man.  He is everything (and more) that I have ever wanted in a man.  He is always there for me whenever I need him.  Even when I don't need him.  Never afraid to show the world how much he loves me.  Even if it grosses out his friends and family.  Ha ha!

Never have I felt so in love.

I just feel like the most luckiest girl in the world. I can't help but feel like I am on air.

Baby, I love you.  More than you will ever know.

Work Ethic.

So I was talking to a co worker today about how stupid kids now a days are.  No joke.  I mean, I'm only a few years older than some of the guys on my crew yet my work ethic is WAY different than their.  I just don't understand how you expect to get payed, but not do the job that your required to do.

I mean, its a freaking job.  Just freaking do it.  Why make it harder on everyone else (and then in turn yourself)  because your too lazy to do the most simplest task.  

I mean is it really that hard to one, look for what you need on the sales floor. Two, get all the shit you need from the back room and stick it on a cart.  Three, put everything out on the sales floor.  Four, throw away all the nasty shit.

Simple.  Right?  Hell, I think so.  I'm pretty sure monkeys can do the job.  In fact, that's a good idea.  Hire a bunch of monkeys....but then they would eat all the bananas. LOL.  

Uhhgggg.......Stupid kids.  Just do the damn job.  And then I will stop being a bitch to you. Ha!   

Maybe.

Oh but on the bright side.  The new bulk manager is like begging for me to be in his department because I'm such an awesome working....with common sense.  It's nice to feel wanted. Oh yeah....

August.

I feel like it's been a century since I've been able to blog.  Not having internet for a month is killer.  Especially since I payed for it, but didn't get to use it.  Which was super retarded.

But just to kind of catch everyone up with kind of everything that has gone down since the last time I posted....

I currently live with my boyfriend.  Which is kind of "wow.....that was quick!" but this is what happened.  House I was living at was infested with mice. Land lord totally knew about it but didn't say anything to my former roommates.  House got condemned....Didn't have anywhere to go, so I ended up moving me and my two kids into his place.

Has anything really changed...Not really.  Only because we were practically living together anyways.  I mean, if he wasn't at my place I was at his.  The only difference now is that I do his laundry and my kids actually see us together.

It's been a month now since I've moved it and it's been pretty good.  I think it really has brought us a little closer which is absolutely amazing...or my head is in the clouds and shit just seems all good. Ha!

August was one of those months that seemed like a lot of shit went down, but you really don't remember much on all of the details because only the good feelings shine through.

Like right now. All I feel is love.  I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as I love Cameron.  Well...besides my kids, But that's a given.  Duh.  But, I don't know what it is with that guy.  He just makes me so happy....to the point where when the room is all cleaned from the party that we had last night I was dancing around the room like an idiot. Lol!

But happy is a good feeling.  And with all the stupid fucking shit that happened during August, like not having a place to live...getting cheated out on money....working my ass off....not having my kids for two weeks...burning Cameron's birthday dinner (yeah...I did that. I'm a fucking noob)....that all seems like nothing compared to all the good feelings I have right now.

Life is good.  And for once it's stable.  Well kind of.

Honeymoon Phase.

With every new relationship, the first few months is known as the "Honeymoon Phase".  Which basically everything is just freaking amazing.  But when does that phase end....And why does it stop anyways?

Questions that Cameron and I have been kind of asking.  Or at least we've been talking about it and just mostly making fun of the whole thing.  And what are the indicators are when you start noticing that bliss is beginning to fickle.

How do you go from never wanting to leave that special person's company to can't freaking standing to look at their stupid face and just wanting to rip their throat out when then start talking?

It's been almost two months since Cameron and I have been dating and yeah, we are so at that stage.  Never wanting to be apart from each other....fucking like rabbits (which by the way...how much sex is too much sex?  I guess when you get to the point where you can't fucking walking straight because your vagina is sore....right? Ha! Yeah I went there). But what really changes in the relationship where all that stops...or at least slows down?

Honestly the best conclusion I can come up with is that you get too used to a person and all the little things that were cute in the beginning just become very very annoying.  But it's really hard to actually pinpoint and answer.  Unless your really paying attention.  But every situation is different I suppose, so there really isn't a definitive answer.

All I know is that I really like this stage.  Haven't felt like this in a very long time.  But I know from past experiences that there are a few steps you can take to make this phase last a bit longer.

One.  Always be upfront. Show your true colors from the get go.  Or at least let them know that you do have a crazy side to you so they can be prepare for when it eventually comes out.  Why hide a side of yourself.  It's not going to stay dormant forever.  Mind as well give the guy a fair warning.  That way, when all is said and done you can say "I told you so".

Two. Honesty.  That's a given. But be in depth about it.  Tell them your past and what you look forward to in the future.  If your past bothers them, then it's obviously not going to work out.  The past is part of who you are and it is what makes you what you are today.  And if they are scared of the future, then they are just not ready for a relationship.  And talking about the future helps get things out of the way...If your futures are too different from each other then it will most likely not work out.  As a couple you have to have common goals.  Because being on a different page than your partner can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. And never ever keep anything from your partner.  Just don't do it.  Hiding shit can only cause harm.  Because once that person finds out. Oh there will be hell to pay.  And it could have been avoided if you would have just told them in the beginning. 

Three. Relax.  Don't be so uptight about little things.  No one is perfect.  People have their quirks, their bad habits, their traditions.  All those things should be the reason why you are so attracted to them.  And how can you be in love with someone when you can't appreciate the little things? If that's the case, then your in love with someone that they are pretending to be or what you want them to be which is fail from the start.

These are just some of the things that I've learned from my past and I am defiantly applying it into my present relationship.  I know there is still a lot to learn but I think this is a good start.  And I don't want this phase to ever end and if I can take steps into it lasting longer than the average. Then fuck yes I am going to do it.  I've seen too many relationships fall apart because of stupid little things.  

But I guess in the end, if a relationship ends because of something easily fixed, it obviously was not a good relationship to begin with.  And hopefully to two people involved learned from their mistakes and become a tad more wiser for their next one.  

I'm hoping for that being the case for me and Cameron.  So far so (so very) good.

Future. Part 1.

OMG.....WAFFLES!!! Looks so good....Yum. And yes I made this all by myself. ^_^

I've been thinking a lot about my future lately.  And I don't know why because (actually I do know why because this topic was brought up last night while talking to Cameron and again when I was talking to my boss....anyways....) thinking too much about what you want to happen in life can sometimes be bad.  Mostly because a lot of the times shit doesn't go as planned and all your left is disappointment.  


I think the main thing that I've been thinking about is what I want to be when I grow up.  Funny right?  Actually it's more like, what do I want to be doing job wise in 10 years.  Honestly, I don't want to be in retail grocery anymore.  I want to be done with it now.  Don't get me wrong.  It's a decent job, I get pretty good pay, and my benefits are pretty awesome.  But I hate having to get up every morning and doing the same damn grind every day.  It's unnecessarily stressful and there are time where I feel like I'm not getting any better at my job.


It's pretty damn hard work.  Upside to it is that I don't have to go to the gym three times a week because I get my workout there.  Reasons why I've lost so much weight in the past year.  But it gets to a point where it's tiring me way too much where I get home and all I want to do is sleep.  I feel so exhausted all the time.  


I mean, if I want to be drained all the time, I'd rather be doing something that I love.  Something I can be excited about doing every day and be willing to pour my heart and soul into.  That's why I'm for sure going back to school next year.  =D


And don't just stupid sit in the class room and listen to boring crap all day kind of school.  I want to go to culinary school.  Take some awesome cooking classes so one day I can open up my own restaurant and be my own boss and actually be passionate about my job.  


If there is one thing that I love doing and that I'm super passionate about it's got to be cooking.  I think I'm pretty good at it.  And there are people who say the same things too. But I want to go to school for it because there is so much that is out there that I don't even have a clue.  And one thing that I would love to get better at is baking.  


I'm not the best baker....I actually fail pretty hard on it.  But if I can learn and start really making up my own recipes I would be in heaven.  Because I love cookies.  Like, I really fucking love cookies.  

I just really want to be excited about going to work again.  And make a mark in this world by feeding people awesome food.  I just want to start this new beginning like right now.  But unfortunately there are a few things I have to take care of first. ^_^

Stupid Hoe.

I love it when people call me immature.  It's like the spark to an uncontrollable flame.

But I think the best part about situations like these is that people will always look at the other person and only see their faults.  Never their own.  So my thing is.  Don't start shit unless your ready to finish it.

So this Crazy (my boyfriend's ex) is my Facebook stalker.  She found out who I am and stalked the fuck out of me.  Then proceeded to talk down on me.

My life is an open book.  I do not feel the need to hide anything from anyone.  From my mellow side to warning people about my crazy side.   Oh yeah and I'm very protective too.  Protective of my family, my friends, my kids, and my boyfriend.  And the shit you crazy bitch do to him is uncalled for and immature.

Take it from someone who knows.  You are LUCKY as HELL to have a baby daddy like Cameron.  He ACTUALLY wants to be a part of his daughter's life.  Who does whatever he can to be there for her and provide for her.  But just because shit didn't work out between you too doesn't mean you have to treat him like shit.  I wish that my own ex would try as hard as Cameron does. 

Yeah, I'm mean to my ex.  I understand, exes are hard to deal with especially if children are involved.  But that doesn't mean for you to rub every single relationship you have with other men in his face.  Whatever is on your Facebook is on your Facebook.  People have the choice to look at that.  But when your texting pictures directly to his phone.  That is just cruel. You do not do that.  Only CHILDREN do that kind of shit.....And you have the balls to call me immature?

Oh yeah, you can bet your ass I'm putting you on blast.  Maybe you should of thought about that before you started being all creeper status on my Facebook.

Yeah, I have two BEAUTIFUL children, I was married,  I have curves, what the fuck ever.  I am more of a woman then you can ever be.  And I'm pretty sure your all pent up on the fact that he Loves me.

And you know what.  He is a good man.  But you could never see that because your too fucking crazy.  But hey.  Good for me.  Because I have him now and I make him happy.  More happy then you could ever imagine yourself making any man.

Oh and bitch, Don't ever think I'm done.  I am never done.  You get to have the pleasure of dealing with me for the rest of your life.  Because I'm here to stay.