I think I'm finally regretting turning the job down in Arizona. It would have been such a life changing event. But what really would I have done if I did take it? I have no car and every penny I had went into trying to fix that shitty ass van.
God I feel like I made so many mistakes in the past few months.
But what can I do now? Its too late to change anything now. I just have to keep going forward.
But you know, it fucking sucks. I hate how I always have to be brave and strong to keep moving forward. When can I just break down and just give in? Never. Because that just shows how weak I am and really....Who wants that?
Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know. I feel like a damn hamster running on a wheel. I'm going, but its to nowhere.
I don't know when things are going to start looking up. Hell, I don't even think I ever will. I'm just the center of all things that go wrong. At least in my personal life anyways. I'm pretty good at my job.....
Well, not really. I still suck at ordering. Maybe one day I'll get it together. Ha.
I wish.
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